wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize