Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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