Quick, to the slutcave!
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize