u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
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Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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