he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You may now shotgun with the bride
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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