Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize