Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize