If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize