Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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