I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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