UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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