what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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