Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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