final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
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I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
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Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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