okay pat passed out under dana's car
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize