..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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