Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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