Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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