so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
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the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
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Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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