what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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