Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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