I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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