sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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