I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
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Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
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My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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