He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need Xanax blowdarts
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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