I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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