did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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