kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
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She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
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We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
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