i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize