did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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