I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Dignity is for republicans.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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