I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
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You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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