u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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