3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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