i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize