hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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