he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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