Define "chronic" masturbator.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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