Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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