Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
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That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
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All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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