I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
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it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
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Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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