It's Friday. Sex?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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