dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize