the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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