I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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