I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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