He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
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you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
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Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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