i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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