God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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