She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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