A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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