ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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